Reclaim Your Joy
Reclaim Your Joy
By Cynthia Christianson
Self-Help Coach
Avanti Coaching, Keep Moving Forward!
WHAT NOW? It’s always something. As soon as we get one thing solved or understood, something else shows up. It’s a constant, endless journey that, depending on how connected we are to our hearts, can be wonderful opportunities to grow or painful experiences that cause physical, mental and emotional imbalances.
I
have found that most people have spent a lifetime disconnected from their
hearts and identifying themselves through their thoughts. From the moment we
start school, it’s all about achieving results. So, in order to survive, we
learn to work from our minds. We rationalize, criticize, evaluate, analyze and
compare. I am not saying this is wrong or right. It’s a mechanism we have to
develop in order to survive.
As
we get older though, we want to feel good again. We want to feel loved,
accepted, acknowledged. We want to feel some kind of energy inside going on. We
look for companions to make us feel good. Food, sports and the arts also
trigger feelings. If we could create a balance of the mind and heart, then all
would be well. But I don’t see this very often.
I see a high divorce rate, teenage pregnancies, overweight people, money problems, drug and alcohol addiction and disease. I see people seeking answers through television talk hosts, tapes, cds, books and motivational speakers. Around the world, I see war, human suffering and neglect. What is even most interesting is that these issues repeat themselves throughout time. My parents had WWII; I had the Vietnam War; today’s it’s the Iraq war. I am sure you are aware of the social issues that have been going on for centuries. Stressful situations are in everybody’s life everywhere before us and will continue to show up after we are gone.
The
key to handling stress is how you show up and deal with it. If you have spent a
life time disconnected from your heart, you’re going to be effected by stress.
How do you know if you are disconnected? Watch your reactions starting with
your body sensations. Scan your body and look for tension such as headaches,
tight muscles, clenched jaws, developing a cold, weight gain, fatigue are good
examples of being out of alignment with your heart. Anger, impatience,
complaining, blaming others, worry are stressful emotional reactions. Mentally,
watch your stinkin’ thinkin’, critical comments, judgments and too much talking
rather than quiet time listening within.
If
you spend time becoming a “feeling human” again, you would feel joy, gratitude,
contentment, peace, detachment. It would be effortless too. Choosing to feel
good creates an attitude of acceptance, rather than judgment and thus a desire
to resist or fix something won’t be an issue any more. It does take practice because you have spent
years playing by a different set of rules.
To
become a feeling human, it takes a conscious choice to make your feelings a
high priority. It is a discipline at first and there are techniques you can
learn to do this. So, when you wake up and dread the idea of starting another
day, try this technique:
1. First, be willing to feel whatever negative feeling you feel right now. Don’t try to repress it, talk yourself out of it, make excuses for it - just feel it. If you do not feel joyful the moment you wake up, then you have clouded over your true self in order not to feel sadness, fear or whatever. You have to create the space for this joy to surface and you can only do this by feeling those feelings you don’t want to feel.
2. Second, embrace them as your own.
It’s easy to blame your parents, judge your spouse or feel unfairly treated by
your employer. Just acknowledge that these feelings came from you and that’s
ok. Just say to yourself:” Hmm, I’ve created some tension here. It feels sad.”
3. Third, take the judgment, the thoughts, out
of the feelings. Just allow yourself to feel these feelings. When you
label these feelings as anger, unfairness, sadness, you’ve jumped back into
your mind and out of your heart.
4. Fourth, release the feeling and feel the
relief. Use whatever release
technique you feel good about and let the feelings go. I send love to the
feelings and then love to myself for feeling these feelings. But you can melt
them into the light or hand them over to your inner guides. It doesn’t really matter as long as you feel
a sense of relief.
5. Fifth, focus on something or someone you
love and allow yourself to feel this same good feeling for you. Let the
love in and be grateful for this chance to create a good feeling and let go a
negative one. Turn this love to yourself and really feel it.
Once you start to do this, your natural state of joy and abundance will return and you’ll find yourself one day waking up and wanting to get out of bed, rather than wishing you could just skip dealing with all these issues, responsibilities or stressful situations. This inner strength of empowerment is so magnetic. Watch the magic that happens in your life once you start to invest in your well-being.
Copy write: May 15th, 2008 CGC
www.avanticoaching.com